People who know me well, know that I am very private. I don’t share my feelings openly unless I trust you implicitly. I don’t have a social media presence and I don’t care for being photographed. Even though I worked as the Communications Director at a Navy command for over 20 years, I am an introvert. As many of us in that category know, we can perform on demand in professional and social settings as required, but later retreat to our quiet places to recharge and enjoy the calm and peace that we desire most.
Then my son died.
An email announcement was sent out by leaders at my workplace to the 2,000 people who are employed there. An obituary I wrote was published online and in our local newspaper that let our community know our son had passed. A memorial service coordinated by my son’s high school friends, brought an outpouring of people to the gymnasium on that campus and many of them shared stories about his amazing life. A receiving line formed following the service where I was met by family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances who hugged me tight and wished me well.
My days of being private were over. There was no way to keep the most intimate event in my life to myself. Sean’s death forced me out of my comfort zone and demanded that most significant piece of my life was made public. Everyone knew that my son died. The worst thing that could happen, happened to me.
I had previously observed others in this state of grief and of course could not imagine what they were going through. Now that I was in the club, I had some choices to make. I could let my circumstances make me better or bitter. I could run to God or run away. I could use my pain to help other people or I could wallow in it.
An eight-year journey of grieving, questioning, healing and then discovering a deeper faith in God, made me determined to use my experience to help other people. My former days as a podcaster on the job, gave me the experience I would use to start Qualified – Lessons in Loss.
I launched the show in August 2021 on Apple, Spotify, Google and YouTube. I finally bit the bullet and created a Facebook and Instagram page that would notify my listeners when a new episode is released and potentially reach people outside of my circle of friends.
This week, I stood up this website and blog. So much for being an introvert.
If Sean had to die, there will be goodness that emerges from it. There are lessons to be learned in loss and we need to talk about them.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Please share this podcast with others who may need to hear that there is hope.
